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Foul Language Friend Part I

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Should I like someone who curses at my friends (even if my friends donít always treat me as a friend)?


Steve Answers:

Iíll make some assumptions here. The first one is that when you ask ďShould I like someone?Ē you mean ďlikeĒ as in ďbe involved in a relationship withĒ them.

If that assumption is true, then what youíre asking is whether you should be involved with someone who at least occasionally uses foul language.

The fact that your boyfriend/girlfriend (I donít know which, since you didnít include your gender) sometimes uses foul language says a few things. The first thing it says is that this person has difficulty controlling themselves.

Most Christians pretty much know that using curse wordsósome of which involve taking the Lordís name in vainóisnít acceptable. So if your friend is cursing, that probably means one of two things: either (1) he/she knows that what he/she is doing is unacceptable and is determined to do it anyway; or (2) he/she doesnít really want to curse, but canít control himself/herself and winds up cursing anyway.

Personally, Iím uncomfortable with either scenario. If the person knows that what theyíre doing is wrong but they donít care and are determined to keep on doing it anyway, well, thatís not good.

Itís one thing to slip and make a mistake. Itís another thing to know that what youíre doing is wrong, yet to do it anyway.

Then again, if he/she canít control himself/herself enough to not curse, thatís not good either.

Hereís something else to think about: If someoneís deliberately cursing around you, that says to me that they have no respect for your values. That should say something to you about themóunless you havenít made your values clear. In which case that may say something about you.

But if youíve made it clear that cursing around you isnít acceptable and this person curses around you anyway, not only does that say to me that this person doesnít respect your values, but he/she lacks a certain respect for you, too.

This is particularly true if the person using the foul language is a young man. Iím still old-fashioned enough to believe that while using foul language period is bad, itís even worse when used around a lady. It shows a lack of respect.

If I were you, Iíd also have another question: How did the person pick up the habit? Most likely the answer is from being around people who curse. And if being around other people influenced your friend to curse, then isnít it possible that your being around them might influence you to start doing the same thing?

Iíll talk more about this next week.

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