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Hello everyone! What are some of your favorite things to do on Sabbath? I like to watch nature shows, listen to music, and read! :)

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What is wrong with foreplay?


What is wrong with foreplay? As long as we don’t have sex, I can keep my virginity, right? –Still a Virgin, 15, AK

Shayna Answers:

Dear Still a Virgin, Wrong.The word virgin implies an ignorance about sexual activities in general and suggests that a person is completely untouched. So, if you’re engaging in foreplay, just because you’re not having intercourse doesn’t mean that you’re keeping your virginity intact. The term foreplay is an abbreviation for play before sex. The purpose of foreplay is to excite your body and mind and physically prepare you for the act of intercourse. So, if you’re trying not to have sex before marriage, it seems pretty self-defeating to go down that road, doesn’t it? Many people make the mistake of believing that as long as they don’t have intercourse, they can do everything else. However, sexual purity encompasses thoughts and all sexual behaviors. When God asked us to stay pure before marriage, it was for our own good. God never sets up unrealistic standards for us (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). He created sex to be a pleasurable experience with the person you’re married to, but the devil tries to pervert this beautiful act into something that can scar you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Ephesians 4:27 advises us not to give the devil a “foothold” anywhere in our lives. So don’t put yourself in a situation where your hormones could cause you to override God’s standards. Do you feel guilty after a make-out session with your boyfriend and secretly repent later? Or, are you just trying to stay on the right side of the line without knowing exactly where it is? Either way, you need to let your boyfriend know that you are committed to purity before marriage. Communi-cate that you don’t want to lead him on by making him lust—something Jesus said is adultery (see Matthew 5:27, 28). Then, establish your physical boundaries—after talking to your parents. Ask your parents for their advice about where your physical boundaries should be. After all, parents are eager to give good advice. Showing them that you are actively seeking their guidance will make them more likely to trust you in the future, too. Whether or not your parents are cool with your having a boyfriend right now, remember that sexual temptation doesn’t diminish with age. Waiting for a few years before you date will give you time to develop your sense of self. It will also make standing up for what you believe a whole lot easier.

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