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Hello everyone! What are some of your favorite things to do on Sabbath? I like to watch nature shows, listen to music, and read! :)

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Looking for a Girl

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Iím a good-looking college guy who canít seem to find a nice, attractive Christian girl to date. Where is she hiding? How will I know when I find her?óCollege Guy, 20, NE


Shayna Answers:

Dear College Guy,

When it comes to finding your dream girl, I wish I could give you her precise location! God knows what it is, though. Beyond that, He knows what you need better than you do. So the first step in finding your dream girl is to ask God what His idea of your perfect mate is.

You mentioned that youíre a good-looking college guy, but be forewarned that the people God intends for us donít always come in the packaging we think they should.

If youíre trying too hard to find a girl who meets your physical ideal, youíre risking overlooking the one that is your spiritual ideal. She might be right in front of you! Proverbs 31 says that a virtuous woman is of greatest worth. Instead of concentrating hard on trying to find the right person, concentrate on being the right person. I know it sounds clichť, but itís only when we remove the focus from pleasing ourselves that we can discern what Godís will is for us. You may even consider fasting from your quest to find the perfect girl.

In other columns youíve heard me talk about taking breathing periods, and this instruction is along the same vein. When you relinquish control of what you really want and acknowledge to God that youíre letting Him guide you, Heís able to reveal things to you that you donít know about yourself!

Recently I fasted from my own dating life. And let me tell you, nothing I learned had to do with a significant other! It was all about meóand things I could do to better myself in anticipation of that person.

As far as how you will know when you find your dream girl, college is a wonderful time for figuring out yourself and finding someone to share your life with. First, however, your youth and young adult years should be the time when you also fall in love with God.

We are told that Bible patriarchs such as David walked with God (2 Chronicles 7:17; Psalm 86:11; 1 Kings 3:14). As a result, God gave David very clear signs when he asked for them. When you are walking with God, you will know when He has guided you to your mate, because you will recognize His specific answers to your prayers. Isaiah 65:24 says: ďBefore they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.Ē Roughly translated, ďGodís got you!Ē So, just be still and study His Word. Itís counterintuitive, I know, but sometimes you donít get what you want until you allow God to give you what you need.

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