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How are emotions tied into sex? Part 2

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Part 2: How are emotions tied into sex?—Beach Guy, 16, CA


Shayna Answers:

Dear Beach Guy,

As we’ve discussed in previous columns, the Bible clearly describes sex as a physical, spiritual, and emotional experience. Psalm 73:7-9 says that our actions (sexual and otherwise) are an outpouring of our heart. And Matthew 5:27, 28 warns that sexual temptation begins in our minds—our emotions—before we ever sin.
 
While many people believe sex is just a physical act, this view isn’t biblical. Genesis 2:20-24 reminds us that Eve was first created to be a social companion for Adam. And Ephesians 5:25 encourages husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church.” Both of these passages imply that there are emotional and spiritual aspects to sexual unity in marriage.
 
Perhaps the best example of the role that emotions play in sex comes from Genesis 3:16. After Eve sinned, God pointed out that she’d separated herself from Him, and her emotional desires would now be directed toward her husband.
 
If it were true that emotions weren’t tied to sex, then none of us would ever desire sex before or after engaging in it. Seeing stimulating images or movies would have absolutely no effect on us. But as we know, Philippians 4:8 warns us to guard what we allow into our mind, because our actions start with our emotions.
 
Because God created sex to be a unifying experience in marriage, the strong emotional affection for the person with whom you’re having sex is usually more powerful than the physical act itself. Think about this: how long do you obsess about your significant other when you’re not together? hours? days?
 
After my worst breakup, it took me nearly two years to get over that boyfriend. In contrast, how long would a physical act of sex last? Definitely not two years!
 
Galatians 5:19 says sexual immorality is a marker of the “sinful nature.”
Romans 12:1 says to offer the purity of your body to God as a “spiritual act of worship” as further evidence that sex is more than what we do. It influences what we think about, what we believe, and how we feel.
 
God created our bodies  to balance the intermingling of emotional, physical, and spiritual components. This is why when we’re sick (physical), we tend to feel gross or sad (emotional). It’s also why it’s harder to focus on devotion or self-control (spiritual) when we are tired (physical).
 
God created sex, so it’s impossible for us to remove any component of its original design—a spiritual, emotional, and physical experience for marriage. No matter what anyone might tell you, your feelings (emotional) cannot be separated from the act of sex (physical).
 
The good news is that God never sets unrealistic standards for us. No matter the situation, He promises He “will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out” 
(1 Corinthians 10:13).
 


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