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I like this boy, but I donít know if he likes me. What should I do?


I like this boy, but I donít know if he likes me. I donít want to ask him about this because Iím scared of his response. I think we have chemistry because we were both at a friendís party, and were talking, staring at each other, and laughing and stuff. What should I do?óPooh Bear, 15, SC

Shayna Answers:

Dear Pooh Bear,

Right now you don’t need to do anything. Just continue to be friends. It’s great that you already have some friends in common, and that you’ve had the opportunity to talk and spend time with each other. Just because you experienced a physical attraction doesn’t mean you have to act on those feelings or declare them.
Many people make the mistake of rushing into relationships because, as you point out, they feel they have chemistry with another person. Once again I must say that at Insight we encourage readers to wait to date until they are in college or older.
With that in mind, I want to point out to you that 1 Corinthians 13:4 lists patience as the very first characteristic of love. When you’re older, you’ll realize that you should form a stronger emotional attachment with someone you’re interested in before you act on any physical attraction. Proverbs 31:30 explains why: “beauty is fleeting.” Acting on lust is disappointing in the end.
Being friends with this guy for a while will give you the opportunity to explore whether or not you really do have a lot to talk about, and if he really is funny. You may find out that you don’t really like him!
Oftentimes we mistakenly make long-term decisions (dating) based on short-term experiences (two hours at a party). If you become better friends with this guy, it’ll be possible for you to determine whether or not you really want to pursue a relationship in the future, or if you were just caught up in the moment.
By spending time with this guy as a friend, you’ll have a chance to get to know his character, morals, and level of spirituality. Unlike beauty, a person’s character isn’t immediately revealed. It usually takes a while to gauge whether or not a person is being genuine about their spirituality and concern for others. This is why Matthew 10:16 advises us to be “as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” You have to use discernment when you’re making decisions, especially when you’re making decisions regarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
Let me just point out the fact that relationships require an extraordinary amount of time and energy, which is why the editors of Insight and many parents discourage young people from dating before a certain age. It’s important to talk to your parents about all of this. Most important, don’t forget to talk to your heavenly Father, too. Jeremiah 33:3 promises that He gives the best guidance of all.

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