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I started talking to this guy a couple of weeks ago. But all of a sudden, he stopped calling. What did I do wrong.

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I started talking to this guy a couple of weeks ago, and I thought we really liked each other. But all of a sudden, he stopped calling. What did I do wrong, and what should I do now?óConfused, 18, MD


Shayna Answers:

Dear Confused,

You probably didn’t do anything wrong. A few weeks ago we talked about the pros and cons of starting a long-distance relationship. We ended by saying that sometimes things don’t work out the way we expect them to. So let’s talk more about that now in relation to your question.
 
First of all, let me point out to you that the time you dedicate to dating is to help you realize whether or not you can pursue a long-term relationship with your love interest. It’s best to wait to do this until you’re in college or older.
 
Anyway, since I don’t know the extent of the conversations you were having with your friend, or how close you had become, it’s hard for me to guess what might have gone wrong. Although I don’t know what may have prompted your friend to stop calling, it’s possible he realized that having a serious relationship was either something he wasn’t willing or able to do. Now, just because your friend came to this conclusion, it hardly means that you did something wrong.
 
Jeremiah 29:11 says that the plans God has for each of us are unique and special. They include taking us into places and situations to meet the person whom God intends for us to marry, if that is His will for our lives. Sometimes we may hope that a certain person is “the one” for us. Psalm 127:1 reminds us that God must build the foundation of all aspects of our lives in order for us to succeed.
 
Sometimes God needs to separate us from people or situations to build up our character before He can trust us with the things we really want. I know it sounds awfully cliché to tell you this, but if God intends for you to be with your friend, trust that He’ll align your path so that when the time is right, the relationship will succeed.
 
In the meantime, the best thing you can do for yourself is to spend more time with God. The reason is that your prayer life gives you an opportunity to connect with God directly and allow Him to work on your mind and heart.
As you spend more time in prayer each day, you’ll draw nearer to God, and He will help you understand what He wants for you in a relationship, He will build your character, and He will give you discernment. So when the right person does come into your life, you’ll recognize him.
 
If you believe your friend was serious about starting a relationship with you, give him the benefit of the doubt. If he hasn’t called in say 48 hours (as opposed to a month!), just wait for him to definitively tell you that he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you.
 
It’s also reasonable for you to ask him what happened and to say goodbye. Just remember that not all of our relationships are going to be successful. If this one isn’t, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong or are to blame. It just means that God has another plan.


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