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How should I dress to get a girl?

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How should I dress to get a girl?—Floss, 17, MI


Shayna Answers:

Dear Floss,

You’re definitely right in pointing out that for most of us, we change the way we dress to fit the circumstances we’re in. We don’t wear gym clothes to a job interview, and we don’t put on a bathing suit to go to church. When it comes to dating, we dress a little nicer, and we can be tempted to dress differently, to be at the top of our game. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but trying to attract someone based solely on the way you dress is a terrible idea! Here’s why.

First, the way a person dresses doesn’t define whether or not they will be a good significant other. After all, unlike a person’s character, their spirituality, and their values, the way someone dresses changes based on what’s trendy, what season it is, and even how much money they have to buy new clothes! Clothing is something that’s variable and superficial.

This is why Matthew 6:31-33 tells us not to worry about what we eat, drink, or wear. Instead, verse 33 reminds us to trust God to provide for all of our needs. In this case, that includes trusting God to provide a significant other who cares about you for who you are—not the way you dress.

Second, trying to impress someone based on the way you dress may actually attract the wrong person!  Ideally, we want someone who’s going to connect with us based on our relationship with God, how we treat others, and what interests we have in common. If a girl only goes out with you after you change the way you dress, it shows that she isn’t focused on the right priorities in a relationship!

Dating someone based on the way they dress, the car they drive, or what worldly possessions they have shows immaturity. And watch out, there’s the possibility that you may get dumped for someone who has better stuff. Worse, you’ll have to continually maintain the facade you create with clothes. This will take the focus of your relationship off of God, and it’ll put a whole lot of stress on you!

Proverbs 31:10-30 tells us that when it comes to finding a girl, you should be focused on someone with a noble character, not amazing clothes. After all, anyone can put on clothes to project a certain image, but not everyone has the character that’s necessary to be a good wife or girlfriend.

Because what you wear sends a message about who you are, there are certain things that you can do with the clothes you already have. You can concentrate on wearing things that reflect the values that are important to you. For example, you may choose not to wear clothes with offensive statements or images. Or, you might wear clothes that display distinctly Christian messages.  You may even try to avoid looks that are associated with negative behaviors or lifestyles, such as being a thug or a cutter. Proverbs 20:29 says that the glory of young men is in their strength, not their appearance.

Focusing on reflecting your love for God to those around you, as Matthew 5:16 says, will ultimately attract the right girl, regardless of what you’re wearing!



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