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Why is sex addictive to some people?


Why is sex addictive to some people?óDonít Understand, 16, NV

Shayna Answers:

Dear Don’t Understand,

The reasons why people become addicted to sex vary. For some people sex may be something new and pleasurable that they end up exploiting. For others, sex is an escape from their real life that may be full of problems. Some people use sex as a form of revenge to hurt those who’ve hurt them. Ultimately, though, people who are chronic sexual addicts have a psychological condition that makes controlling their behavior extremely difficult.

Sexual addiction is a form of addiction like alcoholism or drug abuse. When people use negative behavior to make up for inadequacies or to relieve anxieties in other areas of their lives, it’s an addiction. People with addictions usually have a genetic predisposition to certain compulsive, repeated behaviors, what is called an addictive personality disorder.

Addicts usually deny that they have a problem, and they blame others for their behavior. They also have to keep going further into their deviations to get the same level of satisfaction. Most people suffering from this condition feel an extreme lack of control over their lives, despite the negative consequences they experience as a result of their addiction. For a sexual addict, these consequences might include getting and passing on STDs, struggling to maintain stable relationships, and lacking emotional connection with sexual partners and others.

According to, sexual addiction can even escalate to illegal activities, such as exhibitionism or prostitution, as well as behaviors that are dangerous to others, such as affairs and rape. Many sexual addicts may eventually feel ashamed of their uncontrollable behavior, yet they struggle to change it. The end results are hurt and dissatisfaction—the exact opposite of what they’re seeking.

Sexual addiction is treated several ways: with individual counseling, group therapy, recovery programs, and medications.* Because it’s difficult to curtail sexual behavior, many counselors recommend abstinence—just like the Bible suggests—until a person can learn how to have normal, healthy relationships.

God gave us guidelines regarding sex for a reason. Contrary to how it’s often portrayed, sex is a physical, emotional, and spiritual experience (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 5:27, 28; Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29). Sexual addiction is a serious and devastating condition because it affects a person’s feelings, interaction with others, and connection to God.

Self-control, a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22, 23), is something that God asks us to exercise in regard to our bodies and our behavior. While it may not prevent addictive personality disorder from manifesting, asking God to help you control yourself is an essential part of overcoming sin (1 Peter 5:8; 1 Corinthians 10:13).

Sexual addiction can be a terrible condition to deal with, but it definitely doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to cure. Remember, nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).

*Taken from

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