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Should I Wait Until Marriage to Have Sex?


Since people are getting married later in life these days, is it realistic to wait until marriage to have sex?—Truth Seeker, 18, CA

Tiffany Answers:

Dear Truth Seeker,

H’mmm. “Realistic” 
depends on your frame of realism. If you believe Philippians 4:13, which says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” then yes, I would say it is realistic to wait until marriage to have sex.
Now, does getting married later in life make it harder to wait until marriage to have sex? For most, I would say yes, it is harder. That’s partly because society sends us strong messages that keep us focused on the idea of sex, which makes it challenging to live without it. It’s also partly because you’re probably going to encounter a greater number of experiences in which you’re tempted to have sex.
Does the fact that people are getting married later in life give us an excuse to stray away from God’s ideal of waiting until marriage to have sex? Nope. There’s no free pass because of the this-idea-of-waiting-until-I’m-in-my-30s-is-killing-me factor.
There are reasons God intended sex for marriage, and they haven’t changed. Granted, there are the threats of unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. But beyond these things, as you may have heard me say before and will certainly hear me say again, God created the act of sex to emotionally bond two people forever.
Genesis 2:24 says a man and a wife become one flesh. The act of sexual intercourse plays a role in this. Entering into that bond without a forever commitment leads to an achy heart down the line, whether you’re 18, 25, 37, or 60, for that matter.
The bottom line is this: if you are earnestly seeking to live in God’s will and to have a relationship with Him, going against the way God intends you to live can only end up causing you emotional agony.
It would be cruel of God to expect something from you that’s impossible, but we do not serve a cruel God. We serve a loving God who really just wants the best for His kids.
First Corinthians 10:13 states: “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” See, God will never expect more of you than He knows you can handle, but you have to keep yourself open and willing to accept His way of escape from temptation.
If you keep God’s will for you as the determining factor for major life decisions, including marriage, God will lead you the right way when it comes to choosing a future mate. Until then, if you trust Him and earnestly seek His help, He will give you what you need to “stay outta trouble.”

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