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What are some tips we can use to avoid premarital sex in our relationship?


I'm dating, and I'd like to know this: what are some tips we can use to avoid premarital sex in our relationship?óWanna Stay Good, Pennsylvania

Tiffany Answers:

 Here’s some good news: the fact that you’re asking this question is a good sign that you’re well on your way to making smart decisions when it comes to maintaining some boundaries in your relationship. If you enter a relationship without making a firm and decisive plan as to how you’re going to conduct yourself from a physical perspective, you’re asking for trouble. But if you have a goal in mind, you’re more likely to stick to it! 

First of all, ask the Lord to help you remain strong in your commitment not to have sex in your relationship unless and until you’ve taken marriage vows with this person. Who can ask for a stronger accountability partner than our heavenly Father?
He knew you long before you were ever born. He knows what makes you tick and what areas are going to be your strengths and your weaknesses. He’ll show you what those are if you rely on Him. Be it through a still small voice, through an assuring or uncomfortable feeling, or through the words of a trusted, godly friend, the Lord knows how to make His way plain to us. 
If you haven’t already done this, share with your significant other your commitment to abstaining from sex outside of marriage. If they try their hardest to convince you otherwise, you have a very clear indication that this person isn’t the one for you.
If they truly have respect for you, they’re going to respect your convictions and decisions, and they’re going to do their best to help you stay true to your goal because of your importance to them. Also, it will be troubling to you if they don’t actually share your beliefs on this major point. How can you trust them to be faithful within a marraige if they’re not willing to be pure before marriage?
Now, with that said, you can start off with the best of intentions but find yourself headed down a completely different road than you had planned, so it’s important to keep yourself mindful of your decision on a continuous basis. Whether you say a prayer before you two spend time together, or ask friends to hold you accountable for what you do in your relationship, or take a quick mental time-out to assess your true feelings and drives in a certain situation, find that thing that’s going to serve as the so-called string tied around the finger to remind you that you’ve got some boundaries to stick to. 
Focus on activities that are going to help strengthen the friendship aspect of your relationship. Ultimately, you want to be in a relationship with someone you can tell anything to—someone who shares your interests, makes you laugh, and helps you grow as a person.
Plainly and bluntly put, that type of relationship doesn’t grow from swapping tongue or getting busy. Yes, those things can give you an emotional high, but they can also cause you to come crashing down to earth, leaving you hurt and empty, if entered into prematurely. Sex is reserved for marriage because it’s like icing on the cake of an already healthy relationship, creating a bond that’s going to join two hearts for a lifetime. 
“God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape” (1 Corinthians 10:13). While the world tries to scream at us that avoiding premarital sex is archaic and impossible, remember that God doesn’t ask us to do anything that He won’t give us strength to do!

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