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Got a Teacher Crush


Iím in high school, and Iím taking a few college classes. Last quarter I took a chemistry class that was taught by, um, letís call him D. So, hereís my problem: I really like D. I mean, I really like him. Iíve found myself fantasizing about him, and I would really like to get to know him better, but heís almost twice my age, and heís my teacher. I know I shouldnít be thinking like this, but I canít get over D! Help! óGot a Teacher Crush.

Tiffany Answers:

Dear Got a Teacher Crush,

Ah, yes, a victim of the “Awesome Older Man” syndrome and a serious case of “Teacher Adoration.” I’m sure there is a specific psychological explanation, but here’s a basic setup for your situation. You are a high school student taking college courses, so you are probably smart and mature for your age. Because of this, the guys your age, with their talk of sports, video games, and the like, may seem oh so ordinary and immature. Enter your chemistry professor with his sharp wit, ability to talk about the finer things in life, remarkable intelligence, and possible good looks, and you think you’ve found your dream man, correct? Well . . . don’t be too quick to draw that conclusion.

First of all, realize that what you’re feeling is not unusual. You’re human, and, trust me, you’re not the first nor will you be the last girl in the world to have a crush on a teacher/professor. Now, what separates the appropriate from the inappropriate is what you choose to do with this euphoric feeling toward this older, inaccessible man. Bottom line, you have to realize and tell yourself that there isn’t any way on earth that anything should transpire between you and this man. First of all (and it’s a huge first of all), it is probably illegal, since you’re in high school and probably a minor. Second, it would be highly inappropriate for him, as your teacher, if he were to have a relationship with a student. It’s called a conflict of interest, because he is responsible for your learning and your grade.

Let’s say that you choose to ignore the first two reasons and attempt to carry on a relationship anyway. Here’s another one: After your beloved has been fired from his post at the college and imprisoned for an appointed time, you will find, though you may be mature, that the two of you don’t have that much in common. He’s at an age of paying bills and budgeting, figuring out how to stop early-onset balding, managing his slowing metabolism, deciding whether to settle down (assuming he’s not already married) and how many children to have. You’re at an age of enjoying your youth, having fun (in a wholesome way, of course), trying to decide which college to get into, what you want out of life, and who you are as a person. There are many avenues for conflict in such a relationship.

Now, I have a strong suspicion that your crush will never get to the extreme scenario of you trying to pursue this individual. Even if you did, I have to give D the credit that he would turn you down flat for the reasons mentioned above. You mention, though, having difficulty getting past thinking about him and getting over him. Focusing on the unrealistic nature of such a relationship often serves as a cold splash of water to reawaken you to reality. Have faith and courage, knowing that at the correct time, God will lay out the plans He has for you, including your relationships. Just trust Him to see it through. Psalm 37:5 reminds us: “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” Praying for you!

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