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I have a super-huge crush on this really famous singer. I canít stop thinking about him. HELP!

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I have a super-huge crush on this really famous singer; therefore, I have no chance whatsoever! But I canít stop thinking about him. Everyone is telling me to pray, but itís not working! I know Iíll be disappointed, but . . . HELP!óSOS.


Tiffany Answers:

Dear SOS,

It’s a page straight out of the life of the average American teen: the quintessential celebrity crush. Many men, women, boys, and girls who have had their walls decked out with the likes of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Malcolm Jamal-Warner, and David Cassidy are very familiar with this stage of life. It’s definitely not unusual, so rest assured, you are not alone!

While a certain amount of admiration is normal, anything done in excess can be unhealthy. Temperance is, according to Merriam-Webster at www.m-w
.com, “moderation in action, thought, or feeling: restraint.” In order to keep such things as a celebrity crush from distracting us from our aims in life, which should ultimately lead to a life of serving and glorifying God, we need to be temperate in all aspects of our life.

I love ice cream, and I do mean l-o-o-o-o-o-ve. I love all flavors, all types, all forms. However, if I allowed myself to indulge in ice cream all of the time, I would experience many negative side effects that would keep me from living a fulfilling life. You can imagine what some of them are. The same applies to a teen crush. If you allow yourself to indulge in thinking about this celebrity all of the time, then you’ll lose focus on school, family time, socializing with other teens, and, most important of all, your spiritual journey with Christ.

So when you find yourself “addicted” to dreaming about celebrity X and imagining a hypothetical relationship with him, how do you give yourself a reality check? Don’t discount prayer. That’ll definitely help. However, you need to back up those prayers with a little action. Consider going on a “fast” from all things related to that celebrity. Take the pictures down. Put away all your DVDs with the celebrity in them. Stop searching for them online. Avoid television shows about them. Ban your friends from talking about that celebrity around you. All things related to that celebrity should cease for a while! And then fill up the time you would spend thinking about that celebrity with something different. Read some good books. Find a job and make some spending cash. Take up a hobby, such as a musical instrument or a sport, or join a school group. Get involved with your youth group in church. Find any good and productive activity that is going to fill up the time you used to spend focused on this celebrity. Also, you should find some friends who will serve to make you accountable, reminding you not to allow yourself to pursue activities that will feed your celebrity obsession.

The more you discipline yourself and condition yourself to avoid the crush, the less focused you will be on your crush. As a bonus, finding replacement activities that will help you become more well-rounded overall serves as a bigger benefit to you.

Realize that this celebrity is only human. They are not a “deity” or a person worthy of worship. They are full of flaws and a person just like you. God tells us not to put other “gods” before Him (Exodus 20:3), and by allowing this individual to have so much of an impact in your life, you are, in a way, doing just that.
Take heart. It’s a solvable issue, but it’s going to take a little dedication and discipline on your part. I have faith you can do it. Praying for you!



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