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I just donít know why God gives some people babies, and not others. Why did He give me one at 18?


Iím 18 and just found out Iím five months pregnant! Iím not sure how to feel or what to think. I just donít know why God gives some people babies, and not others. Why did He give me one at 18? I feel as if Iíll never be forgiven for this. I cry every day because what Iíve done is so looked down on. óHelp, online

Tiffany Answers:

Dear Help,

My heart goes out to you as I read your question. Eighteen can already be a difficult age, what with finishing high school and starting to make the transition into adulthood. The idea of impending motherhood can be a tremendous burden if you’re not married.

There’s just one thing I want to discuss before moving on to your actual question. You say that you “don’t know why the Lord gives some people babies, and not others.” This statement can be taken a number of ways, but there’s one possible interpretation that worries me. It sounds as though you’re blaming God for your pregnancy. It’s as if you’re saying, “Of all the people who are out there having sex, why do I have to be the one that actually got pregnant? Why is God punishing me?”

God isn’t punishing you. You’re simply experiencing the natural outcome of your actions. Sexual intercourse is likely to result in pregnancy. In fact, pregnancy is the main anatomical function of sex.

Now, I know that there are many devices, pills, and methods used to prevent pregnancy while having sex, but not one of them is 100 percent effective. Anytime you have sex, you have to assume that a child may be the result. That’s why abstinence (not having sex at all) is the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy.

God asks us not to do certain things for our own good. He tells us not to have sex outside of marriage for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that two marriage-committed adults are often more prepared/equipped to start a family.

OK, where do you go from here? First and foremost, drown out all of those fears about what others’ reactions are going to be. Initially, this needs to be about you laying this problem at God’s feet and asking for His guidance: examining how you ended up in this situation, allowing Him to heal your broken heart, and finding out how He wants to prepare you to handle the idea of being pregnant.

You say that you feel as if you’ll never be forgiven for doing this. But if you’re referring to God, rest assured that our heavenly Father’s forgiveness and mercy know no limits. Share your thoughts with Him honestly in prayer. If at this time you’re not sorry for disobeying His laws concerning sexual behavior, but are sorry only for the consequences of having premarital sex, go ahead and admit that to Him. (He knows all of your thoughts anyway; see Ezekiel 11:5.) If you open your heart to Him, He’ll show you any error in your ways or thoughts, and bring you to repentance. When you come to Him with true repentance and request forgiveness, you’ll definitely receive it. He’ll also provide you with the strength you need to handle what’s ahead for you.

The biggest mistake we can make when we’ve failed to live up to God’s precepts (and that goes for any sin, not just improper sex) is to avoid God out of shame. He knows what we’ve done, and He still loves us—no matter what! He’s also the only one who can give us the victory over sin. Once you’re right with God, though the words and judgments of others may hurt, they won’t have any reflection on your spiritual life, because you and God know that you’re walking together in harmony.

In addition to renewing your relationship with God, build up your earthly support system. If support from your parents and/or church (best sources) isn’t an option, then call up a local obstetrician (preferably your own, because you should be getting medical care) and ask for a list of support resources (Christian-based, if possible) for pregnant teenagers. Sometimes a nurse at a local public school or college can tell you about these resources too.  Please know that I’m praying for you, and know that with God on your side things will work out despite any challenges you encounter.

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