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Hello everyone! What are some of your favorite things to do on Sabbath? I like to watch nature shows, listen to music, and read! :)

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My Personal Struggles

Posted by LongingforGod on Sep 15 2012 5:44PM

Happy Sabbath everyone! I would like to make a prayer request regarding my personal struggles. I am a Seventh-Day Adventist and have been since birth. Ever since I was 12, I have been told not to date until I am ready for marriage by people in church and websites such as this one. In the mean time, my friends in school began to date and I had to turn down girls. My friends have called me gay and other inappropriate names I should not say. One day, weeks later, I accidentally stumbled upon pornography in a link that a friend sent me and I acted on it. I have been addicted ever since. That was 4 years ago. Now I am 16 and I am noticing that I only have one friend that is a girl, but she's been my best friend in church ever since I was 8. When I try to talk to girls just to be friends, they either think I am creepy, too nice, or mean. I can't speak for the first two, but for when they call me mean, that comes from me standing up for myself when people bully me. I am not going


- Re: My Personal Strugglesfrom Tom (asst. editor, Insight), Sep 24 2012 6:22AM
I am so happy that we could be used by God to help you. You are still in our prayers. Keep in touch.

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- Re: My Personal Strugglesfrom LongingforGod, Sep 20 2012 4:57PM
Dear Tom, Thank you so much for your advice and the telling me to read what Miranda writes. It has helped me a lot. I have clicked on the links attached to his articles and I know that I have it bad. I have deleted the private browser on my phone that I usually view porn on and I will read the Bible more. I believe that porn has caused me to be selfish and not pray for others, so I will start to do so more often. I know that you have been praying for me, because I was debating whether or not to come back to this site and by God's grace, I did. God bless you man! Sincerely, LongingforGod

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- Re: My Personal Strugglesfrom Tom (asst. editor, Insight), Sep 17 2012 7:35AM
Regarding the social issues you've mentioned, I say keep standing up for yourself and your decision to wait. Of course, don't be mean about it, but just stand firm and people should recognize that you are serious about this, not mean. Get together in groups--boys and girls together--and do fun things like mini golf, hanging at the mall, etc. Build friendships with girls that way, where there's hopefully no pressure to date. While you're waiting to date, make sure your connection with God is solid--that way you won't have to fill your needs with porn. Also work on your relationships with family and friends. Get involved in church, school, and social activities to give you something to do instead of watching/looking at porn.

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- Re: My Personal Strugglesfrom Tom (asst. editor, Insight), Sep 17 2012 7:16AM
Check out the Miranda Writes columns on this Web site. Go to our home page, scroll down about halfway, and click on the Miranda Writes banner. Then scroll down through the article titles and find "Porn Doesn't Have to Be the Norm." It's a two-part series about porn addiction. There are a bunch of other Miranda Writes articles that deal with this and many other topics. And the cool thing is you can contact the author, who is a Christian counselor. His info is at the end of each article. Hope this helps. Praying for you!

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- My Personal Struggles (cont.)from LongingforGod, Sep 15 2012 5:48PM
My comment was cut off so I am continuing it here: stop standing up for myself, so what can I do to not seem mean and get along with girls? I know that this is getting long, but I am simply asking for prayer and advice to first; help stop my pornography addiction, and second; help me maintain healthy friendships with girls. EXTRA NOTES: 1. I feel that I have been able to maintain a pornography addiction because I have been told not to date and figured that this can satisfy me since I cannot get with girls in the mean time. 2. Besides being called gay, it has even gotten so bad that my father, who is Adventist too, has taken me to malls to see how I act around girls. I feel like this is ironic because I am still "too young" to date. He says that I should notice them more and be more friendly and open around them. He says that I will need them in college and so on. He often prays for my future wife, which is not his worry.

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